The 9 things functioning alcoholics say when they're hiding a secret addiction (2022)

NO one wants to admit they are dependent on alcohol.

That bottle of wine a night is totally normal, right? Surely, if you can still function and go to work the next day?

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These are the things we tell ourselves to avoid facing the truth, says Sandra Parker, an alcohol-free coach and founder of Just The Tonic Coaching.

Sandra knows from experience, having been a heavy drinker through her 20s, 30s and 40s, until it suddenly hit that it made her miserable.

She told The Sun: “There's lots of things you can tell yourself to convince yourself it is not a problem.

"But ultimately, it's a problem if you know you're not in control.”

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There is no one kind of “alcoholic”, Sandra says - and no, don’t assume it’s someone drinking from a brown paper bag on a park bench at 9am.

So-called functioning alcoholics are among us and well hidden, and one of the biggest growing demographics with a drinking problem right now are middle class professional women, Sandra warns.

(Video) 17 Signs Of A High Functioning Alcoholic

The most common excuses she hears are; ‘But I can still work after drinking’, ‘I never have a hangover,’ and, ‘I never drink before 6pm’.

Sound familiar? Read on to find out if you are hiding a secret alcohol disorder…

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1. ‘I drink a bottle of wine every night - but I eat very well’

Sandra says people “fool themselves” into thinking their drinking isn’t problematic because it’s their only bad habit.

“People say, ‘I go to the gym, and I'm quite healthy, I don’t smoke’ - I think in their head, they see drinking as one bad habit.

“It’s still a problem. Eating well won’t balance out you drinking huge amounts,” she says.

2. ‘I never drink during the day’

Sandra says when most people picture an alcoholic, they “have an image of someone that gets up and grabs a bottle of vodka by the bed”, or “someone sat on a park bench with a brown paper bag”.

But this only scratches the surface.

(Video) Signs of a High-Functioning Alcoholic | Alcoholism

Not all alcoholics look alike, and neither do their patterns of drinking.

Sandra says: “Some people can easily go a month without drinking.

“But then something happens, maybe their life becomes stressful, they reach for the alcohol and then they're locked in a cycle of drinking a bottle of wine every night for a month.

“Everybody's drinking patterns will look different. And it's much better to ask yourself: ‘Am I in control? Am I drinking more than I want to?’”

3. ‘Yes I drink every night, but I never get hangovers’

Sandra says if you believe you “don’t get hangovers”, and are able to go to work or even the gym after drinking, it could be a sign you’ve got an alcohol problem.

“What's happened is they've just normalised not feeling great in the morning and push through it,” she explains.

And the dangerous part is “their bodies are actually really struggling”.

Sandra adds: “People can make the mistake of thinking, ‘I can handle my drink’. But they’re drinking more because they’re not getting the same effect from a small amount.

“It's still having the same detrimental impact on the liver and organs.”

4. ‘I only drink wine, I would never touch spirits’

Whether it’s the cheapest cider, shots of spirits or a fancy bottle of wine - it’s all the same, Sandra says.

“Wine is considered a middle class drink. People don’t boast about drinking Strongbow.”

But Sandra says alcoholism can affect anyone, no matter their taste in alcohol, or their income.

“All alcohol is ethanol, and your liver can’t tell the difference between an expensive bottle of wine bought from a specialist wine merchant direct from Napa Valley and a bottle of Lambrusco you got on a special deal at the off licence,” she adds.

5. ‘I am not addicted, I just have it to help me sleep’

Sandra says: “There are definitely people who believe they need alcohol to sleep, because if we drink to excess, we will pass out.

“Alcohol will help you sleep, but it doesn’t allow you to have a good quality night’s sleep.

“Often you wake up during the night, you might feel dehydrated, you can’t get back to sleep. Even if you don’t wake up, it’s not good quality sleep.

”When people first give up booze, it may be harder for them to get to sleep.

But Sanda encourages them to persist because it takes the body “a bit of time to get back into a natural rhythm”.

6. ‘I need to drink every night because of my work social functions’

Some industries are saturated in alcohol, and it can be challenging for people to get away from the constant pressure to drink.

“They feel it’s expected of them, and that people will ask them difficult questions if they don’t drink,” says Sandra.

“A lot of people have anxiety about socialising without drink. Part of that is anxiety about how other people will perceive them and they feel they need some Dutch courage - the first drink often makes you feel more relaxed.

(Video) 'Going to work drunk every day' - BBC Stories

“But it's a bit of false confidence because the more you drink, the less aware you are of how you're coming across.

“So you might not be aware of it, and you might not be feeling anxious at the time, but actually you probably feel more anxious the next day because you can't remember exactly what you said.

“You’re less likely to be tactful, or to leave when you want to leave.”

7. ‘I never drink on a Monday’

Sandra says if someone excuses their heavy drink by saying, “I never drink on a Monday” - it’s not because they are in control.

“Sometimes the reason is because they feel so rough from how much they've drunk over the weekend.

“It’s not a conscious lifestyle choice. And even if it was, it’s another sign of a problem.

“They might offer to drive somewhere, or work late so they don’t drink that night. It’s obvious they are having to make a big effort not to drink.

“The question I would ask is: ‘How does it feel not to drink today? Are you thinking about it a lot? Do you wish you could have a drink today?’”

8. ‘I only drink more because I can work from home’

Government statistics show that the number of people in England drinking at risky levels is now at eight million compared with five million pre-pandemic.

Home-drinking during lockdown is a key contributor, experts say.

“If you think about the last couple years, the pandemic really normalised everyday drinking at home for a lot of people,” Sandra said.

This “normalisation” is reinforced by TV shows all the time, Sandra says, and this means it’s “quite easy to fool yourself into thinking you don’t have a problem”.

She says: “I work with clients who have told me that they’ve switched on the telly and seen Lorraine Kelly showing people how to make a margarita in the morning, or on Saturday Morning Kitchen, they're talking about what wine they're drinking at 10am.

“So it's quite easy for people to pretend they're okay for a long time until something happens and they say, ‘I can’t do this anymore’.”

9. ‘I don’t drink as much as others - everyone drinks more than the government guidelines’

The Government advises drinking no more than 14 units a week, which is around six pints of 4 per cent beer or six medium-sized (175ml) wines.

Granted, you’ll often see people drink more than this, which can leave you thinking there is nothing wrong with your own behaviour.

Sandra says rather than comparing how much you drink to your friends, colleagues or partner, you should be asking yourself how you feel about booze and what you use it for.

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The 9 things functioning alcoholics say when they're hiding a secret addiction (8)

The 9 things functioning alcoholics say when they're hiding a secret addiction (9)

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“If you're drinking more than you planned to, have more than you wanted to, and you feel uneasy or uncomfortable when you're not drinking, that is saying you are not drinking for fun, and you're dependent on it.

“Another good test is to ask, ‘Are you drinking for fun? Or are you drinking to take the edge off things?’”

Where to get help

If you think you have an alcohol use problem, it can be difficult to take the first step and get help.

The NHS says a good place to start is your GP, who might suggest support options, such as from local community alcohol services.

(Video) Living With A Functioning Alcoholic

It says: "If you have become physically dependent and need to stop drinking completely, stopping overnight could be harmful."

Useful contacts include:

  • Drinkline - the national alcohol helpline. Call this free helpline in complete confidence on 0300 123 1110 (weekdays 9am to 8pm, weekends 11am to 4pm).
  • Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)is a free self-help group. Its "12 step" programme involves getting sober with the help of regular support groups.
  • SMART Recoverygroups help people decide whether they have a problem, build up their motivation to change, and offer a set of proven tools and techniques to support recovery.

FAQs

What are the five signs of addiction? ›

Signs someone else is addicted:
  • Changes in personality and behavior like a lack of motivation, irritability, and agitation.
  • Bloodshot eyes and frequent bloody noses.
  • Shakes, tremors, or slurred speech.
  • Change in their daily routines.
  • Lack of concern for personal hygiene.
  • Unusual need for money; financial problems.
27 Jan 2021

What are the 4 levels of the addiction process? ›

Some people take their time while others go from zero to 60 in a short period of time. No matter how long your journey is, most rehabilitation counselors agree that there are four main stages of drug addiction: experimentation, regular use, risky use/abuse, and drug addiction and dependency.

What are three warning signs of addiction? ›

Psychological warning signs of drug abuse
  • Unexplained change in personality or attitude.
  • Sudden mood swings, irritability, spaced-out, or angry outbursts.
  • Appears fearful, anxious, or paranoid, with no reason.

What is the hallmark feature of addiction? ›

Craving or urges to engage in a target addictive behavior has been a hallmark defining feature of the addictions for a long time [13,38].

What are the six major characteristics of addictive behavior? ›

Take a closer look at these characteristics to see if you may be at risk for addiction.
  • #1: Inability to Stop. ...
  • #2: They Continue to Use with Negative Consequences. ...
  • #3: They Are Preoccupied with Substance Use. ...
  • #4: Changes in Behavior. ...
  • #5: Increasing Use of Substances. ...
  • #6: Experiencing Withdrawal Symptoms.
20 May 2022

What is a common indication of substance abuse? ›

Symptoms may include: Using or drinking larger amounts or over longer periods of time than planned. Continually wanting or unsuccessfully trying to cut down or control use of drugs or alcohol. Spending a lot of time getting, using, or recovering from use of drugs or alcohol.

What is the last stage of addiction? ›

Stage 4: Addiction

Once the final stage is reached, you have entered addiction and complete dependency upon the substance. It's no longer a question about whether or not you're addicted to drugs or alcohol.

What are some examples of withdrawal symptoms? ›

Symptoms of Withdrawal
  • Trembling and tremors.
  • Muscle pain or aches.
  • Hunger or loss of appetite.
  • Fatigue.
  • Sweating.
  • Irritability and agitation.
  • Depression.
  • Anxiety.
14 Sept 2022

How does addiction start in the brain? ›

When someone develops an addiction, the brain craves the reward of the substance. This is due to the intense stimulation of the brain's reward system. In response, many users continue use of the substance; this can lead to a host of euphoric feelings and strange behavioral traits.

What are the red flags of addiction? ›

Behavioral Red Flags
  • Drinking or using more than before.
  • Extremely talkative.
  • Unusual or erratic behavior.
  • Poor judgment.
  • Personality changes when drinking or using.
  • Loss of interests, activities, friends.
  • Anger or defensiveness if topic of alcohol or drugs is brought up.
  • Tries to stop drinking or using for periods of time.

Which of the following are signs that someone may have a serious problem with alcohol? ›

Experiencing cravings for alcohol when not drinking. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when not drinking (e.g., cravings, sweating, shaking, and nausea) Facing problems at work, home, or school because of alcohol use. In reaction to the discomfort associated with withdrawal, having to drink to feel better.

What are the warning signs of an alcohol use disorder? ›

Signs and symptoms include sweating, rapid heartbeat, hand tremors, problems sleeping, nausea and vomiting, hallucinations, restlessness and agitation, anxiety, and occasionally seizures. Symptoms can be severe enough to impair your ability to function at work or in social situations.

What are the major characteristics of addictive behavior? ›

be unable to stop consuming a substance or end a specific behavior. display a lack of control concerning the substance, thing, or behavior they are addicted to. experience increased desires for the specific substance, thing, or behavior. deny that their addictive behavior may be causing negative consequences.

Which characteristic of addictive behavior indicates that an individual? ›

Which characteristic of addictive behavior indicates that an individual needs more and more of a particular substance? escalation.

Which medications are most commonly used in the treatment of addictive disorders? ›

Some of the most well-known medications that are used during addiction treatment are Naltrexone or Buprenorphine.
...
Medications that are commonly used to treat addiction include the following:
  • Naltrexone or Vivitrol.
  • Buprenorphine, Suboxone, and Methadone.
  • Disulfiram or Antabuse.
  • Acamprosate or Campral.

What is salience in addiction? ›

In summary 'salience' refers to the ability of stimuli to gain preferential attentional processing and is often referred to in terms of dopamine release and motivational drive.

Which of the following best describes a compulsive gambler? ›

Which of the following best describes a compulsive gambler? chronic brain disease that causes compulsive substance use. NOT: physical and psychological symptoms that follow interrupted use because, Addiction involves dependence but it is not part of the APA definition.

What are the signs of drug toxicity? ›

If you take too much of a stimulant-like drug, such as cocaine, amphetamine, crack or ecstasy, overdose signs can include:
  • anxiety and paranoia.
  • restlessness or agitation.
  • hallucinations.
  • high temperature.
  • chest pain.
  • rapid breathing.
  • irregular or fast heartbeat.

What are nine lifestyle diseases caused by substance abuse? ›

The Impact of Addiction Can Be Far-Reaching
  • Cardiovascular disease.
  • Stroke.
  • Cancer.
  • HIV/AIDS.
  • Hepatitis B and C.
  • Lung disease.
  • Mental disorders.
10 Jul 2020

What drugs cause speech problems? ›

Some medications that affect the brain or nervous system, or muscles of speech, may result in dysarthria as a side effect.
...
Some specific drugs that have been associated with dysarthria include:
  • Carbamazepine.
  • Irinotecan.
  • Lithium.
  • Onabotulinum toxin A (Botox)
  • Phenytoin.
  • Trifluoperazine.
5 Jul 2021

What are the 10 stages of addiction? ›

The 10 Stages of Relapse
  • Stage 1: Denial. ...
  • Stage 2: Avoidance and Defensiveness. ...
  • Stage 3: Crisis Building. ...
  • Stage 4: Immobilization. ...
  • Stage 5: Confusion and Overreaction. ...
  • Stage 6: Depression. ...
  • Stage 7: Behavioral Loss of Control. ...
  • Stage 8: Recognition of Loss of Control.

What are the 5 stages of the addiction cycle? ›

What Are the Five Stages of Change? The five stages of addiction recovery are precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance.

What are the five stages of change in addiction? ›

The model describes five stages that people go through when changing their behaviour: precontemplation (not ready), contemplation (getting ready), preparation (ready), action and maintenance.

What is one of the first signs of withdrawal? ›

Early symptoms of withdrawal include:
  • Agitation.
  • Anxiety.
  • Muscle aches.
  • Increased tearing.
  • Insomnia.
  • Runny nose.
  • Sweating.
  • Yawning.
10 May 2020

How long will withdrawal symptoms last? ›

According to American Addiction Centers, withdrawal symptoms will generally peak within 24-72 hours after your last drink and resolve within 4-5 days.

How long does emotional withdrawal last? ›

Unlike physical withdrawal symptoms, which typically last three days to a week, psychological withdrawal symptoms may linger for up to two years. Despite the potentially long-lasting symptoms of psychological withdrawal, it's important to know that the severity of these symptoms dramatically diminishes over time.

What happens to the brain of addicts? ›

In a person who becomes addicted, brain receptors become overwhelmed. The brain responds by producing less dopamine or eliminating dopamine receptors—an adaptation similar to turning the volume down on a loudspeaker when noise becomes too loud.

How long does it take for brain chemistry to return to normal after alcohol? ›

The new research shows that it takes at least two weeks for the brain to start returning to normal, so this is the point at which the alcohol recovery timeline begins. Until the brain has recovered, it is less able so suppress the urge to drink. This is because the alcohol has impaired the brains cognitive ability.

What drugs increase dopamine? ›

Research has shown that the drugs most commonly abused by humans (including opiates, alcohol, nicotine, amphetamines, and cocaine) create a neurochemical reaction that significantly increases the amount of dopamine that is released by neurons in the brain's reward center.

What are 3 personality traits that are closely related to addiction? ›

No single personality type sets someone up for addiction, but there are a few personality traits common among people who have a substance use disorder: an inability to handle stress, impulsivity, unaccountability and a lack of empathy.

How do addicts behave in relationships? ›

Typical addict behavior in relationships involves neglecting all of their relationships and only spending time with the people who share their addiction. Their sleeping and eating habits will change dramatically and they will often blame it on something else.

What are three red flags in a relationship? ›

13 red flags in a relationship to look out for
  • Overly controlling behavior. Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag. ...
  • Lack of trust. ...
  • Feeling low self-esteem. ...
  • Physical, emotional, or mental abuse. ...
  • Substance abuse. ...
  • Narcissism. ...
  • Anger management issues. ...
  • Codependency.
1 Feb 2022

How do you get someone to admit they have a drinking problem? ›

Let them know the effect their drinking is having on you.
  • See how they feel about change. ...
  • Plan and pick a good time. ...
  • Avoid blame and accusations. ...
  • Use examples to explain. ...
  • Don't give mixed messages. ...
  • Be prepared for resistance. ...
  • Don't push the issue. ...
  • Don't give up.

What happens during the second stage of alcoholism? ›

In the second of the 3 stages of alcoholism, you start to crave alcohol when you're not drinking. Your body depends on alcohol for survival, and you no longer drink for enjoyment. If you try to quit on your own, you soon develop withdrawal symptoms, including pain and discomfort.

What do you call a person who drinks alcohol everyday? ›

drunkard. noun. someone who frequently drinks too much alcohol.

What are the five symptoms of an alcoholic? ›

Here are 6 Warning Signs of Alcoholism
  • Drinking Excessive Amounts of Alcohol. ...
  • Loss of Control While Drinking. ...
  • Persistent Alcohol Use Despite Awareness of Issues. ...
  • Loss of Time Spent on Alcohol-Related Activities. ...
  • Experiencing Withdrawal Symptoms. ...
  • Increased Alcohol Tolerance.

What happens when you drink alcohol everyday? ›

Long-Term Health Risks. Over time, excessive alcohol use can lead to the development of chronic diseases and other serious problems including: High blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, and digestive problems. Cancer of the breast, mouth, throat, esophagus, voice box, liver, colon, and rectum.

What are signs that you are drinking too much alcohol? ›

Signs You're Drinking Too Much Alcohol
  • People close to you have expressed concern. ...
  • You self-medicate using alcohol. ...
  • You've become secretive about your drinking. ...
  • Your work and home life is being affected. ...
  • You've tried to cut down but couldn't. ...
  • You're regularly drinking heavily alone.

What are the six major characteristics of addictive behavior? ›

Take a closer look at these characteristics to see if you may be at risk for addiction.
  • #1: Inability to Stop. ...
  • #2: They Continue to Use with Negative Consequences. ...
  • #3: They Are Preoccupied with Substance Use. ...
  • #4: Changes in Behavior. ...
  • #5: Increasing Use of Substances. ...
  • #6: Experiencing Withdrawal Symptoms.
20 May 2022

How does a person look like under the influence of drugs? ›

Some signs that someone may be under the influence of a drug include: Enlarged pupils, bloodshot or glassy eyes. Increased energy and confidence. Loss of inhibitions.

What are the basic stages of addiction? ›

No matter how long your journey is, most rehabilitation counselors agree that there are four main stages of drug addiction: experimentation, regular use, risky use/abuse, and drug addiction and dependency.

What are some examples of addictive behaviors? ›

Some of the most common types of behavioral addictions are:
  • Sex.
  • Gambling.
  • Internet.
  • Shopping.
  • Video games.
  • Plastic surgery.
  • Binge eating/food addiction.
  • Thrill-seeking activities.
16 Aug 2021

Is having an addictive personality genetic? ›

The Genetics Of An Addictive Personality

Research has discovered a link between genetics and someone's ability to have an addictive personality. Those born to parents who have been addicted to a substance or exhibited a behavioral addiction are more likely to exhibit addictive personalities themselves.

What part of the brain controls addiction symptoms? ›

The part of the brain that causes addiction is called the mesolimbic dopamine pathway. It is sometimes called the reward circuit of the brain.

What is the most severe form of addiction? ›

1. Alcohol is the Number 1 Addiction in the US. One of the hardest addictions to kick is none other than alcohol. In fact, an estimated 30 percent of Americans have suffered from an alcohol use disorder in the past.

What are the 5 characteristics of addictive behavior? ›

Key aspects of addiction were measured for each reported behavior, including negative outcomes, emotional triggers (positive and negative emotional contexts), search for stimulation or pleasure, loss of control, and cognitive salience.

What are the side effects of addiction? ›

Signs and symptoms of addiction
  • Mood swings.
  • Anxiety.
  • Depression.
  • Irritability.
  • Euphoria.
  • Periods of hyperactivity.
  • Agitation.
  • Trouble in interpersonal relationships.

What are the effects of addiction? ›

The Impact of Addiction Can Be Far-Reaching
  • Cardiovascular disease.
  • Stroke.
  • Cancer.
  • HIV/AIDS.
  • Hepatitis B and C.
  • Lung disease.
  • Mental disorders.
10 Jul 2020

What are the problems of addiction? ›

Dependence on drugs can create a number of dangerous and damaging complications, including:
  • Getting a communicable disease. ...
  • Other health problems. ...
  • Accidents. ...
  • Suicide. ...
  • Family problems. ...
  • Work issues. ...
  • Problems at school. ...
  • Legal issues.

What are some signs of behavioral addiction as opposed to just heavy use? ›

Signs You Have a Behavioral Addiction
  • Spending the majority of your time engaging in the behavior, thinking about or arranging to engage in the behavior, or recovering from the effects.
  • Becoming dependent on the behavior as a way to cope with emotions and to "feel normal"
  • Continuing despite physical and/or mental harm.
17 Sept 2020

What are the solutions to addiction? ›

10 Ways ANYONE Can Stop Addiction Now
  • Admit There Is A Problem. The hardest part to recovery is admitting you have an addiction. ...
  • Reflect On Your Addiction. ...
  • Seek Professional Support. ...
  • Appreciate The Benefits of Sobriety. ...
  • Identify Your Triggers. ...
  • Change Your Environment. ...
  • Exercise. ...
  • Accept The Past.

What does psychological addiction mean? ›

Psychological addiction can occur with essentially any substance. Psychological addictions tend to occur because of a substance or experience activating the pleasure center in the brain, which causes you to want to recreate those same pleasurable feelings in the same way.

What are 4 consequences of drug abuse? ›

Young people who persistently abuse substances often experience an array of problems, including academic difficulties, health-related problems (including mental health), poor peer relationships, and involvement with the juvenile justice system.

What causes a person to become addicted? ›

Factors such as peer pressure, physical and sexual abuse, early exposure to drugs, stress, and parental guidance can greatly affect a person's likelihood of drug use and addiction. Development. Genetic and environmental factors interact with critical developmental stages in a person's life to affect addiction risk.

Is OxyContin still prescribed? ›

OxyContin, a trade name for the narcotic oxycodone hydrochloride, is a painkiller available in the United States only by prescription. OxyContin is legitimately prescribed for relief of moderate to severe pain resulting from injuries, bursitis, neuralgia, arthritis, and cancer.

Which of the following is a long-term effect of drinking alcohol? ›

Long-Term Health Risks. Over time, excessive alcohol use can lead to the development of chronic diseases and other serious problems including: High blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, and digestive problems. Cancer of the breast, mouth, throat, esophagus, voice box, liver, colon, and rectum.

What are the 10 causes of drug abuse? ›

Causes of Substance Use Disorders
  • Family history of addiction.
  • Sleep problems.
  • Chronic pain.
  • Financial difficulties.
  • Divorce or the loss of a loved one.
  • Long-term tobacco habit.
  • Tense home environment.
  • Lack of parental attachment in childhood.
11 Dec 2017

What is the most severe form of addiction? ›

1. Alcohol is the Number 1 Addiction in the US. One of the hardest addictions to kick is none other than alcohol. In fact, an estimated 30 percent of Americans have suffered from an alcohol use disorder in the past.

What are the 2 types of addiction and what is the difference? ›

Today, most experts recognize two types of addiction: Chemical addiction. This refers to addiction that involves the use of substances. Behavioral addiction.

Videos

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3. Intervention: HEAVY Alcohol & Drug Addiction Takes Over Krystal’s Life After Traumatic Past | A&E
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4. How I overcame alcoholism | Claudia Christian | TEDxLondonBusinessSchool
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